Making friends in adulthood can be challenging. These 3 things can help it grow.
In my quest to fight isolation which tends to accompany remote workers, I have been doubling down on my social life. Whether its going to F3 two or three mornings per week, or texting local friends to meet up for a lunch walk- I have made this a priority as I enter the remote workspace.
The 3 Key Ingredients to help a friendship grow
I have noticed that in order to build friendship, there really are three things that are essential for it to grow- proximity, time, and interest.
1. Proximity:
This can be virtual proximity or actual physical proximity- but the ability to meet up for a walk, drink a cup of coffee together, or grab a beverage after work all lend itself to being able to build a friendship.
In my virtual workspace, we make proximity a priority as well with coffee chats, movie clubs, and a weekly all hands meeting.
2. Time
Time is the most valuable commodity- so we need to spend it wisely. When you are younger- all you have is time. Ample weekends, summers totally free, all you have is time!
But as we age- our careers take up most of our time, and our family as well. It leaves precious little time to build friendships- it’s no wonder why middle-aged men are suffering a pandemic of loneliness. But to build friendships- you must also make time for it.
Interestingly, switching to remote work has allowed me the opportunity to have little bits of time I didn’t otherwise have to build friendships with those around me.
3. Interest
This is key. One must have an interest in building a friendship to have one. If one person doesn’t care – the other will certainly pick up on this and not pursue the friendship.
If your interests are solely your career or hobby- there will be very little to discuss with that new person who wants to be a friend. You must be interested in them, what their life is like, and what sort of things they may be into.
Leave a Reply